The Research Behind... "Am I Stuck In Prep Mode?"
Turns out there's a name for stalling: it's Identity Protection. For the skeptics and the 3 AM Googlers. You wanted the psychology behind planning that never ends. I did the homework.
In my blog, Stalling In Plain Sight: Called Out by AI, I talked about how it took me three weeks to finally start this blog, Make ONE Move. How my brain finally shifted from planning to "good enough."
For you, maybe it's researching for the right job for two years. The business idea you've outlined multiple different ways. The hard conversation you've rehearsed but never started. Different details, same 3 AM question:
"Why can't I just START? What am I waiting for?"
That's the Unscripted Middle — between who you were, who you are today, and who you'll be. And it turns out, there's actual research on why this happens. Some of it validated what I suspected. Some of it made me pause the NFL games this weekend just to process.
It's Not Fear of Failure. It's Something Else.
Frontiers in Psychology studied university students in Argentina and the US and found that what actually predicts procrastination isn't fear of failing — it's something called intolerance of uncertainty. When people can't stand the thought of not knowing how things will turn out, they delay starting anything.
A 2024 follow-up dug deeper: the discomfort with uncertainty triggers negative emotions — anxiety, dread, that tight feeling in your chest — and those emotions drive avoidance.
Interesting, because I can handle failure. I've failed plenty at work. In fact, I have preached umpteenth times that "failure is the start of success!" Apparently, what I cannot handle is operating without a clear outcome in sight.
When Prep Mode Becomes Identity Armor
PubMed Central summarized decades of research on something called self-handicapping — creating or claiming obstacles (being too busy, needing more prep, not having the right conditions) so that if you don't perform well, you can blame the obstacle instead of your ability. Or self-worth protection strategy.
The original work on this goes back to 1978 — Steven Berglas at Harvard Medical School and Edward Jones at Princeton found that by not starting, you keep the story "I'd be great at this if I tried" safely untested.
And a 2019 study on achievement and self-worth found that people whose self-esteem is heavily tied to competence are more likely to avoid situations that might threaten that competence — even when those situations could help them grow.
Wow. Have I been protecting a professional identity that doesn't know how to be new at something in my personal life? Guess when you've spent over three decades being the one with answers, being a visible beginner feels… like I am walking around naked!
The Perfectionism Loop Is Real (And Exhausting)
Frontiers in Psychology examined negative perfectionism — the rigid, all-or-nothing kind — and found that it leads to a phenomenon called ego depletion. Basically, mental exhaustion from constant self-criticism and impossible standards. And that exhaustion? It increases procrastination.
It's a loop. The harsher your internal standards, the more drained you get, and the more likely you are to stall.
On the other hand, PLOS ONE found that people with higher "mindfulness" procrastinated less — apparently, mindfulness softens the death grip on "it has to be perfect, or I can't show anyone."
Got it! Definitely doesn't say lower your standards.
An Emotional Problem with Procrastination
Tim Pychyl, from the Procrastination Research Group at Carleton University, studied this for over 25 years. His conclusion?
"Procrastination is an emotion-regulation problem, not a time management problem."
Frontiers in Psychology backs him up: people don't procrastinate because they can't manage time. They procrastinate because they can't manage the emotions triggered by the task — anxiety, shame, frustration, and exposure.
That explains why all the time-blocking apps in the world don't help when the real issue is "this task makes me feel exposed - I would rather do anything than this!"
Like, say... a major career restructure followed by starting something that exposes my Identity Exploration digitally, publicly to total strangers!
What If "Good Enough" Is the Whole Point?
Frontiers in Psychology followed people through an ACT-based course (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) targeting procrastination. The people who procrastinated less by the end were the ones who increased their psychological flexibility — the ability to act in line with their values while still feeling uncomfortable.
So, accept the internal discomfort? Don't focus on "fix your fear, then act." Focus on "act in tiny ways while afraid and uncertain." Like Make ONE Move with intention — even when you are not sure?
If You're Stuck In the "Getting Ready" Phase
- It's not fear of failure. It's intolerance of uncertainty. The "I don't know what happens next" feeling is what drives the stall — not "what if I'm bad at this."
- Prep mode can be identity armor. When your self-worth is tied to competence, staying in planning mode protects the story. It's not laziness. It's self-preservation wearing a responsible costume.
- Rigid perfectionism exhausts you. Exhaustion makes you stall more. The loop is real. The fix isn't lower standards; it's flexible ones.
- This is emotion regulation, not time management. No app fixes the feeling of exposure. That's a different skill entirely.
- "Good enough" is an action with an intention, even though it's still uncertain. Doesn't have to be transformational. Just one move, one step, to action!
Your Move?
Maybe you've been "getting ready" for something for longer than you'd like to admit. Maybe the plan has become the thing, rather than what's important. Maybe you're allergic to uncertainty, too.
If you're in the Unscripted Middle — processing why you are stuck in planning mode — that's not a weakness. That's just you protecting your identity.
Life interrupted you for a reason.
You don't need to stop to plan, to prep, or to lower your standards.
You might just need to give yourself permission to make a move, before you're ready.
